I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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