Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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