just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There r osticjed everywhere
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
