too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
