It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
