Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
