First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
