You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
