"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
