is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize