Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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