WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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