Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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