susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
