Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
