blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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