put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
