White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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