if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
