There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
