So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My feet surprised me
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