He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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