1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
