i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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