I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
