Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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