He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
