is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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