I wish my penis had an off switch
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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