i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
