please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
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