As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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