I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
