you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
