you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
did i just pee glitter
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
