New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
