She is in my trunk
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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