I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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