I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize