All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize