You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
