I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
