ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
