so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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