Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
