The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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