We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
