I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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