the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
