I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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