i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
