I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
