I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
