thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
