So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ketchup is God's man juice
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
