Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
