I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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