walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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