We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
