My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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