my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
