just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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