Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
