I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
